Having it all is a relative concept – unique to you. One person’s having it all may be another persons rock bottom minimum. The best thing about this conversation is that Having It All can vary from person to person, family to family and even across time – day-to-day and year to year. I know I have changed my mind many a times when I contemplate what it means for me. The key ideal though, is knowing what it means for you. Here are the top 3 ideals I use to ensure that I always feel like I have it all which in turn makes me a more productive and happy person.
1.Reject Societal Ideas
Like Nike, Just Do It. Give those so-called societal norms the middle finger (or two if you’re really feeling like a #boss today). For me, this is paramount in my thought process. I’m a natural over thinker and on a FEW occasions I’ve found myself monitoring and trying to keep up with my friends and families milestone moments and then judging myself for not being in the same place as they are. Now, the older I get the more I realize how absolutely dumb that is. All of our environments, goals and desires are different so I can’t base my personal walk to my happy place on where others are. This has worked well for me but it has taken tons of practice, TONS. Do yourself a favor and have tunnel vision for once. Think about what Having It All means for you and forget about what others are doing.
2.Limit Your Stress
While on your personal journey to determine what all makes you happy you may realize that this is a fluid ideal that is constantly changing. Notice I didn’t say DON’T STRESS at all. While it’s healthier to not stress, that is not realistic for me. I’m a self-proclaimed worry wart. I worry about everything times two. So much so that I sometimes exhaust my own mental capacity to think straight. It’s not healthy nor is it useful so, don’t sweat it. After all, happiness is a deeply personal journey that may have a straight road to a finish line for some or a winding road with no end in sight for others. I’m still trying to figure out my ultimate Having it All destination, or lack there of, but I am definitely not stressing about it. I’m happy in the present while trying to figure it out which I think is necessary sometimes.
3. Take it One Day at a Time
As I previously mentioned, the definition of Having it All has changed a few times for me. When I was younger in my 20’s part of having it all meant that I was employed at my dream job and married with a social calendar that was always booked. Fast forward to now in my early 30’s and my ideals have shifted. Now, I’m more happy with having a healthy marriage/family, finding/walking in my purpose and only doing things and being around people who contribute to my joy. So, take it one day at a time and if you feel that your definition of Having It All has shifted, that’s ok – embrace it and just keep living for you.
When I contemplate my life and the experiences that I share with family and friends, I believe I already Have it All because of what my own operational definition of what that means. What about you? What are the top 3 things you do to ensure you are Having It All, that is the cake AND the ice cream.
Our Joyful Family